When your boys come in from playing outside all day they smell somewhat similar to a dirty little wet dog.
When cleaning the toilet, it is actually more work cleaning the floor by the toilet, the front of the toilet, the sides of the toilet, that weird little groove on the sides of the toilet and the toilet rug, than the actual inside of THE toilet itself.You go through 3-4 gallons of milk a week, also including but not limited to; 2 bags of cereal, 2 loaves of bread, a BIG container (sam's club size) of animal crackers, 20 packages of Ramen Noodles, a BIG box (sam's club size) of fruit snacks, and 1 tub of PB easy..........and they are still hungry!!!!
The "after-bath" water left in the tub is a mirky, swampy, brownish-green color. Swamp Thing would find it rather inviting.
When any word pertaining to food, candy, treats etc... is mentioned, you find your boy(s) swarming to you like flies to poo.
You can sing the Clifford theme song...."Clifford needed Emily, so she chose him for her own, her love made Clifford grow so big, that the Howard's had to leave there home......." you know the rest!
You find that your jewelery seems to be mysteriously growing legs and disappearing, only to learn that is actually hidden in a shoe box under your sons bed because it has now become "Captain Jack Sparrows treasure".
Your tampons make good use as make-believe "army grenades."
You go through band-aids and Neosporin so quickly that the neighbors are thinking about reporting you to CPS (child protection services)
Your toilet clogs at least once a week.
Your old wide mouth canning jars have now become Marriott Resorts to every creepy crawly bug in you yard.
The Soap stars you used to watch and drool over have now been replaced by Marvel Super heroes.
You turn the subtitles on when watching movies because you are now considered hearing impaired do to the noise level that comes with boy(s), and there seems to be only one level............LOUD!!!!
There are 35 pair of denim jeans in your house and only 3 pairs of them still have the knees intact.
You include the maker of "Spray-N-Wash" in your prayers every night to thank the Heavens for his miraculous contribution to the world.
You have begun to think fart sounds are cool and find yourself trying to improve your own.
Burping is just another way of saying, "thanks, that was delicious."
Your cooking utensils have now doubled as army guns, or swords.
Your vacuum canister or bag is not only filled with dust bunnies and dirt but, don't forget the Lego's.
There is more dirt on the clothes in your laundry then there is in your back yard.
You are very familiar with the following movies; "The Never Ending Story", "The Sandlot", "Thomas the Tank Engine". etc....
Shoes and socks are impossible to keep track of, what is up with that?!?!?!
You have to cut your kids fingernails once a week or you could grow a row of corn under them if you didn't.
Cookies are eaten so fast that your cookie jar now holds extra coins instead of actual cookies.
Peanut Butter is a staple.
***If I have missed anything, please let me know!!!
